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    Dating a recovered heroin addict

    Tell us what brings you to the Community and let us know how we can help!Addictive behavior attempts to repair a state of bad feeling but is a Faustian Bargain that perpetuates itself and often asks the ultimate price.The addict is double-minded because he cannot really and truly desire recovery until he already has it.Recovery is about restoring natural, spontaneous and healthy regulation of mood and feelings.

    Individuals who succeed in getting over the hump of such habit change usually do so by making themselves look ahead to a future and more desirable state which will be the actual and lasting reward of their present, unrewarded efforts.Now that the drinking has stopped it is reasonable to expect that things will improve.Unfortunately though, just removing alcohol is not enough in most cases to qualify as a “recovery”.Because addicts may be seriously impaired in their pre-addictive self-care and self-management they often require prolonged help learning to feel well without resorting to the "tricks" of addiction. " But in spite of this and other equally inspired proclamations of intent to reform, in the vast majority of cases of definite and well-established addiction, nothing whatever changes – at least not for long.Addictive behaviors such as smoking, drinking, drug use, overeating and other "quick fix" maneuvers aimed at rapidly and dramatically changing the individual’s emotional and hedonic state are natural and common targets for resolutions of reform, whether at New Year’s or any other time, to "do better," to "turn over a new leaf" or to "quit once and for all." And even more than in the case of the typical New Year’s resolution, the solemn promise of the substance(alcohol, nicotine, other drugs, food) or process(gambling, spending, sex) addict is well known by just about everyone familiar with such matters to be, more often than not, ‘writ in water.’ In addiction perhaps more than any place else, "The best laid plans of mice and men gang aft aglay." Such natural and only too well justified skepticism about promises of reform on the part of those familiar with the addict does not necessarily include the addict himself, who may fervently and sincerely exclaim "I know I’ve said this before – and I know that you don’t believe me and that you are entitled not to believe me. Or if there is change, it is change for the worse: the addict’s outrageous addictive behavior sometimes seems almost to feed upon and draw nourishment from his passionate promises that "it will never happen again." This phenomenon leaves those who have to deal with the addict in a confused, discouraged, angry and usually depressed state.

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