So, you might ask, what does the rescuer do and feel in her relationships?
The rescuer focuses on and worries about her partner more than he does about himself.
Have you ever met someone who "romantically" knocked you off your feet -- as in "Hi Mom and Dad...
you're not going to believe this, but I just met the man of my dreams! How did they miss the obvious warning signs before they became intimate and gave their heart away? " or "He wants the same thing I want: to settle down and have children.") For those of us who've been in a relationship with an emotionally unavailable person, we know the pain of not being able to get close to the person we love.
You might ask yourself why a woman would stay with such a man.
For the rescuer, she values love and relationships above all else.
Though rescuers can be both men and women, the book I wrote on the subject, was primarily for women.
Secondly, if you are going to ignore my first point and KEEP pursuing a relationship with his frowsy ass, while he fails to be a better man to you, don’t make excuses for his behavior.
He rarely calls you, rarely makes time for you and rarely takes your feelings into account, not because he doesn’t understand what he’s doing – it’s because he doesn’t care about doing it FOR YOU.
Call it hubris, ignorance or a selfish pursuit of achievement, but the diagnosis is based on simply misreading their partner – because they can achieve the feeling, just not WITH you.
First off, if you are in a relationship with a man who is emotionally distant, you are acting like an IDIOT, because you have no business even being with that man.