If you want to play mind games, by all means play on.But don’t complain when the guys you attract using mind games are doing exactly the same thing you’re doing.The head game gamble can manifest when one partner believes the other's behaviors or actions are always directed at him or her.Your partner thinks, "She woke up early and cleaned the kitchen to tell me that I don't do enough." Or when your partner comes home slightly late after a meeting, you interpret it as: "He's obviously paying me back because I didn't take out the garbage like I said I would." A head game gambler may think, "She's paying me back for watching football all afternoon by not making dinner," but, in reality, his partner just feels a cold coming on and needs to rest. In their early dating days, for example, Joe would deliberately make Sue wait awhile before returning her phone calls. Struggling now, Joe had come to think that Sue had a hidden agenda whenever she was affectionate and kind to him. He lost sight of the behavior at hand because he assumed that she had ulterior motives.He was crazy about her, but did not want to show it. With the toxic thought pattern of the head game gamble entrenched, partners think that they can read each others' minds.
As women we crave emotional intimacy, so it’s not difficult for a man to combine earnest questions and over-the-top compliments to create the illusion of trust and connection that usually precedes sexual intimacy.In fact, the tough love coaching I give my clients is aimed at protecting women from falling victim to such games. I’m sure female readers could cite hundreds of examples.But from my practice, here are four of the most frequent games I see men playing: 1) The “play to lay” game.Focus on what you love and admire about your partner.Giving trust is always the best way to receive it back.