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A good rule of thumb: if you aren’t available for a date within 7 days of sending the message, don’t send it.
The man on the first date had been seven years older than me. In between the two freelancers, I went on hundreds of dates. Both members of a date having dead parents used to end in making out, but now I couldn’t even have empathy sex. “You seemed pretty nonplussed back there.” What happened was that I had stopped being able to fake it, to push my way through to intimacy with strangers. One week in, I’ve learned that I really enjoy not hearing from strangers.
I can no longer listen to 29-year-olds who don’t have full-time jobs make self-deprecating remarks. We could be cranky together, console each other that we still looked young. Instead, after a tepid kiss by the East River with the most recent 29-year-old, I deleted every dating app from my phone.
“It means my mommy still pays for my health insurance.” My last internet date also took me to the Williamsburg waterfront. I never tried Match, JDate, Lava Life, e Harmony, Bumble, or Coffee Meets Bagel. I am Celiac, a fact that I have explained on hundreds of dates.
I was on Nerve, then Ok Cupid, then Tinder, then briefly on Hinge, then even more briefly on a very poorly designed app for men with beards and the women who love them. I kissed men on my corner, felt nothing, and excused myself to go home.