Combined, the points below will describe a guy who's really, really inhibited and awkward around women.Not all shy men will have issues that intense or have every characteristic apply to them.I used to have a friend who’d say, “Dating is nothing but a numbers game.” She believed that going on more dates was equivalent to a higher likelihood of falling in love. However well-intentioned it may be, it flies in the face of a major factor essential to an introvert’s well-being—alone time. So yes, you will have times when sitting across from another human being, you’ll feel you’d rather pull out your molars without Novocaine than think of another word to say to this person. I feared if I declined, I would be passing up on a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. You will have days when unexpected issues arise at work, your cat gets sick, a family member calls with an emergency, or a friend emails with the last-minute favor to which you have to say yes because they helped you out last week.It might sound pretty reasonable when you first hear it except for the fact that it’s utter bullshit. It took me years of dating before I finally started ignoring this type of “practical” advice. For introverts, first dates are minefields of small talk and mindless chatter. if a tree falls in the forest and there’s no one to hear it, would this date be just as bad? As a result, I spent the following weekend on the couch, exhausted, spiraling down the rabbit hole of a bad television binge, barely able to peek around the door when the delivery guy dropped off my take-out. If you have a date scheduled that evening and you just can’t go, so be it.I also wrote a follow up to this article on some of the unique issues shy women struggle with.I'll break this down further below, but their central problem is that they're just really anxious, scared, and inhibited around women.
Because, as introverts, we often derive our energy from solitude and quiet contemplation in which to process life’s events, we have only so much social goodwill to go around. Just simply state that you need to reschedule, and offer an alternative date, time, and place. I’m going to pass along the best piece of advice my old therapist ever gave me.
And then there are the women in their mid-twenties or later who are still very inexperienced (more on that later on).
Here's a quick summary of the basic shyness issues women can deal with around guys.
I like to drop little hints throughout my online profile about how much I value my quiet time; this roots out any suitors prowling for a party girl.
I mention that I tend to spend many hours reading and that I like book recommendations.